let's be grateful

So lately, in addition to chanting the Doxology and the Lord's prayer in my head when I feel anxious, I've been trying to turn my thoughts to gratitude rather than pain or fear. It's definitely hard work, our most common thought patterns are the easiest to think and the hardest habits to break. But I need to keep training my brain to focus on the good in my life rather than all the things that might go wrong with it.

Before my yoga class last night, I was laying on my mat and just breathing in and out the things I'm so grateful for. I told myself that I would do this until the instructor started speaking - it was probably 5 minutes. I let myself start small and just see where I went from there. At times, I repeated things and started my list over, but I am determined to make gratitude a common thought.

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Here is my list of things I'm grateful for today - in no particular order:
a perfect cup of tea
a new tea cup
finishing a good book
a new grey dress
my family
my mother (happy birthday momma!)
my coworkers
saying "i love you"
the fact that I have things to look forward to - tonight, tomorrow, the next day, next week
my job
san diego december
health
yoga
cute yoga pants that make me feel strong
kind people
good drivers
trader joes
Christmas music
vegetables for breakfast
new nail polish
pastels
dark chocolate


See? If I can practice gratitude toward even the small details of my daily life, I can make it a habit and can be grateful for big things too. Then maybe my mind won't flip to panic so easily and I can work on having a better perspective when things get tough.

xoxo

remind each other

People need to be encouraged. People need to be reminded of how wonderful they are. People need to be believed in—told that they are brave and smart and capable of accomplishing all the dreams they dream and more. Remind each other of this. [Stacey Jean Speer]

This Will Pass

Breathe. You're going to be okay. 

Breathe and remember that you've been in this place before. 

You've been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you've survived. 

Breathe and know that you can survive this too. 

These feelings can't break  you. 

They're painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually they will pass. 

Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you'll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. 

I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. 

This will pass. I promise it will pass. 

[Daniell Koepke]

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Dancing Warriors

Encouraging words from a dear friend...


Sweet pea, through ups and downs, never forget that life is a learning experience. 
It is for the living - for those who explore and are open to whatever life and God brings them.
Naturally there will be pains, especially for one who feels as fully and deeply as you do.
Lean on God foremost, friends, family and the ways you connect body and soul.
You bring love, friendship, insight, support, and connection to this world and those around you. 
We see it, feel it, cherish it.
Don't resist the pain, but flow with it, adapt, learn, feel.
You should be so proud of how far you've come.

Free Bird by Heather Le Mert

Praying for you this day and this weekend. May we continue to trust God's will in our lives. May we trust His promise of daily bread and learn to take each day as it comes. May we focus on changing our perspective and not our circumstances.

Let's be dancing warriors.

xo

He gave me everything I needed

When I asked God for strength, He gave me challenges to make me stronger.
When I asked God for wisdom, He gave me problems to solve.
When I asked God for courage, He gave me danger to overcome.
When I asked God for favors, He gave me opportunities to work hard.
When I asked God for peace, He showed me how to help others.
When I asked God for love, He gave me difficult people to care for.

God gave me nothing I wanted,
He gave me everything I needed.

[Swami Vivekananda]

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Last night in yoga, our instructor read this (not in these exact words) at the beginning of the class and again at the end. I'm not in a place right now where I can deal with or talk about what's happening in my life, but I know that God is in the process of doing great things and is giving me exactly what I need. And it is not what I want, but that's the point, isn't it? I wouldn't choose to put myself through this.

God doesn't give us things just because we want them. I've learned so many times that the things I think I want for myself are never the things God wants for me (no wonder I don't trust my own decisions). But I'm reminding myself (every minute, every day) that God's plans for me are greater than anything I could imagine for myself. So if I have to go through the fire to get there, then I will trust God to bring me out the other side. I've never felt weaker in my life, but what a great opportunity for God's strength to carry me through this.

I pray for patience for you today. We aren't supposed to understand everything right now. Be still and know that He is God.

xo

Elisabeth Elliot on Waiting

Waiting requires patience - a willingness calmly to accept what we have or have not, where we are or where we wish we were, whomever we live or work with. To want what we don't have is impatience, for one thing, and it is to mistrust God. Is He not in complete control of all circumstances, events, and conditions? If some are beyond His control, He is not God. 

A spirit of resistance cannot wait on God. I believe it is this spirit which is the reason for some of our greatest sufferings. Opposing the workings of the Lord in and through our "problems" only exacerbates them. It is here and now that we must win our victories or suffer defeats. Spiritual victories are won in the quiet acceptance of ordinary events, which are God's "bright servants," standing all around us. 

Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands...Nothing touched [Jesus] without His Father's permission. Nothing touches me without my Father's permission. Can I not then wait patiently? He will show the way.

If I mean to be obedient and submissive to the Lord because He is my Lord, I must not forget that whatever He allows to happen becomes, for me, His will at that moment. Perhaps it is someone else's sinful action, but if God allows it to affect me, He wills it for my learning. The need to wait is, for me, a form of chastening. God has to calm me down, make me shut up and look to Him for the outcome.

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Ouf. Can she read my mind? This is part of a chapter in Keep a Quiet Heart called "Waiting." And thank God because this is exactly what I need to hear today. I tend to get inside my head a little too much and build up so much unnecessary anxiety, I have to remind myself to get off that stupid hamster wheel and just sit and rest with God. I realize that anxiety comes in waves, but I need to keep reminding myself that if I stop fighting myself and God, everything will happen when and how it should.

I was in yoga class last night and when the instructor said to establish a focus for the hour and pick a word, guess what word popped into my mind? Patience, darling. Okay, that was two words, but still...PATIENCE. I'm not a patient person, but that's the point. I clearly need to practice. Take a nap, little tired hamster, get off your wheel.

Sing it loud:

Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey.

Twinkle, twinkle, big star.